


Dead Leaves and Fleeting Skies

by ceasefire



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 15:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21658738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceasefire/pseuds/ceasefire
Summary: After their return to Garreg Mach, Sylvain and Felix try to rebuild their lives from five years prior. With Sylvain's energy waning, Felix's energy seemingly being fathomless, and the pressure of their living conditions and upcoming battles bearing down on them both, it's only a matter of time before something gives.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 17
Kudos: 280





	Dead Leaves and Fleeting Skies

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in almost two years, and my first time writing for this fandom. I'm still practising characterization, and I've only played through the game once so far on the Blue Lions route, so some small canon details might be slightly incorrect. I hope that this fic is enjoyable, despite that! I really enjoyed writing it. Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own. The title is from _Élan_ by Nightwish. I have to give credit to _Follow You Down_ by Gin Blossoms for constantly giving me the Sylvix emotions I needed to keep writing, though.

Sylvain met Felix in the flesh for the first time in five years beneath the looming shadow of the remains of Garreg Mach, but there was no time for a proper reunion. Half a decade of fighting the Empire had worn them both down, but rumors of a beastly ghost from their past and a promise made in happier times have given them the drive that they needed to cross the wartorn countryside and take a chance on the impossible. The two of them arriving together wasn't planned, but it worked in their favour; if no one else had taken the risk they were taking,in the best case scenario they'd have each other as backup.

Worst case scenario, they wouldn't be leaving the monastery alive. Sylvain tried not to think about that possibility. They hadn't struggled through the last five years on a knife's edge to die in the decrepit ruins of their former schoolhouse. The sounds of battle echoed through the darkened building in front of them. Felix had drawn his sword, given Sylvain a nod of acknowledgement that Sylvain returned, and together they'd stepped five years into their past for the sake of the future.

What they had found after the following the sounds of clashing weapons, aggressive shouts and steel cleaving through flesh left Sylvain flooded with a mixture of emotions. Dimitri was alive, if you could classify the way he existed now as living; he was a shell of what he had once been, hollowed out and broken down to a point that may have been irreparable. Dedue was gone, having sacrificed his life for Dimitri as he'd always promised he would; no one expected that it would happen so soon, nor so violently. Byleth had come back to them after vanishing during the Empire's attack on the monastery, bringing them all back under command like they were still in their academy days, but it felt like a rough suture on an open wound that would never fully heal. Annette, Ashe and Mercedes were trying their best to make everyone happy: if Sylvain ventured close enough to the library, he was able to catch snippets of the songs that Annette was singing as she rearranged the dusty tomes into some semblance of order, and Mercedes and Ashe somehow managed to create delicious meals from the meager supplies they'd been able to procure. Even if they hadn't been able to make dishes that were so flavorful, any freshly cooked food would have tasted like bliss to Sylvain after the many field rations he'd eaten while on the road.

Still, morale was low. The faithful and loyal slowly returned to Garreg Mach as news of the reclamation of the monastery spread, but no one knew whether there was enough food to go around or enough space to house people. The fishing pond was covered in algae and muck after years of disuse, and as of yet no one was sure if the fish that lived in it were safe to eat, and so the temptation of a hearty seafood meal remained a fantasy to their hungry stomachs. Dimitri, haunted by the ghosts of the past as he was, spent the majority of his time lurking around the cathedral as if in a trance, the dark rings around his eyes darkening with every passing day. Sylvain and Felix were assigned to jobs that were effectively menial labor until more hands arrived to assist with the rebuilding efforts; being the two with the greatest physical strength (not counting Dimitri, but Sylvain had discovered quickly that it was pointless to try and get through to him) but with no experience in any of the skills needed to actually rebuild, they mainly found themselves clearing rubble until their bodies ached from exhaustion. At one point at the end of a particularly long day, Sylvain had been carrying an armful of splintered lumber through the stables and noticed Ingrid practically nodding off against her steed's neck, the bristles of the brush she'd been using still tangled in the pegasus's mane. Not even the sound of him haphazardly dropping what he was carrying had startled her awake.

They were used to hard work, Sylvain thought as he'd roused her and gently guided her back towards the dorms with an arm around her shoulders, but they all were getting worn down much faster now.

All of them, it seemed, except Felix.

Felix raged like a wildfire, going straight from his evening meal to the training grounds to break dummies into pieces. He didn't bother cleaning up after himself and left shredded pieces of the dummies all over the sand, but it didn't matter because he was always back before sunrise the next morning, ready to destroy another lot of unfortunate training dummies before he cleaned up and got to work for the day.

Sylvain knew better than to pester Felix, he really did. Not since the days of their childhood had Felix relied on him for guidance and reassurance, and Sylvain was perfectly aware that Felix could take care of himself; the five years he'd survived in the wake of the Empire's attack reaffirmed that in Sylvain's mind. Still, old habits die hard, and Sylvain couldn't help but remember the small boy who clung to his hand like a lifeline as they ran around the Fraldarius estate's sprawling grounds, wouldn't eat his vegetables unless he watched Sylvain do it first from across the massive dining table in the audience chamber, and bit his trembling bottom lip and wiped his eyes with balled-up fists when it was time for Sylvain to return to Gautier territory.

It was sometimes hard to believe the man in front of him, tearing training targets to shreds with precision accuracy using nothing but a wooden sword, had once been the small boy that smiled wide and rushed down to meet him at the gates when their fathers had met to conduct business.

Felix dropped the training sword down beside him as the last dummy crumpled beneath his attacks, his breath rough as he tried to recover from the physical exertion. He nudged the tattered remains with the toe of his boot and began kicking the pile of straw, wood and cloth out of his way. That was when he noticed Sylvain's presence; Sylvain gave a weary smile in response to the slight downturn of the corners of Felix's lips.

"I think it's dead," Sylvain observed, nodding towards the remains of the target dummy. Felix huffed a little, a soft sound that barely reached Sylvain's ears, but didn't reply.

"So, Felix…"

"Get to the point," Felix said, as if he'd been expecting their conversation to happen sooner or later.

"If that's how you want this to play out," Sylvain replied. "I was going to ask how you've been coping, but you probably wouldn't give me a straight answer anyway."

Felix remained silent, and Sylvain hummed thoughtfully.

"You're running yourself ragged. Mercedes told me you're skipping meals on some days. You're barely sleeping, but you still come out here every day before and after we work all day and train. That energy isn't going to last at this rate."

"Did the professor tell you to do this?" Felix questioned, and Sylvain gave him a perplexed look.

"No, the professor didn't say a thing. Am I not allowed to be worried about you?"

Felix frowns and shuts his eyes; the darkness around them is even more stark to Sylvain. "I should have guessed. Byleth has very little time for anything but rebuilding the monastery and hoping that the boar isn't a complete lost cause."

"Well, I'm not here to talk about Dimitri. As you said, he's got the professor worrying over him…" Sylvain hesitated, leaving the words _for all the good it's doing_ hanging between them. "I'm talking about you right now."

Felix let out a long-suffering sigh and turned on his heel to face Sylvain properly, arms crossed neatly over his chest.

"We're all suffering through this, Sylvain. We're all rationing food so that there's enough for the soldiers and pilgrims. We're all doing tedious busywork while the empire breathes down our necks. We're all getting by with barely enough rest."

Felix eyed him up and down, slow and deliberate, and Sylvain felt as if he was being used to prove Felix's point. He was deflecting again, but Sylvain wasn't about to let it slide. He didn't want this to end in an argument. He was more than aware that they were both on edge, and he didn't want to make it worse, but he cared for Felix too much to let him go on like this.

"You're getting less rest than the rest of us. You barely eat. I know I've said all of this already," Sylvain said, running a hand through the back of his hair in frustration. His head felt heavy and his thoughts felt like they were obscured by thick fog. Felix, as he should have guessed, was still sharp as a dagger and Sylvain couldn't hope to compete in his current state. It was frustrating; he knew he could match Felix's wit under normal circumstances, but nothing was normal anymore, and he wasn't about to give in because he wasn't sure Felix would give him another chance to speak about the situation. "If you keep pushing yourself like this, you might…"

Felix's eyes narrowed defiantly. "I might _what_, exactly?" 

"You might make a mistake. And that mistake might cost you."

Feli's temper flared at that. "I will _not_ be a liability. If anyone is dragging us down, it's the boar who's..."

"You might end up breaking our promise," Sylvain said evenly, trying his best to look strong even as his shoulders threatened to slump in exhaustion. Felix was left momentarily speechless by Sylvain's words, and he seemed to take the time to consider what he was going to say before he spoke again.

"That's not going to happen," Felix said slowly, sounding as if he was trying to reassure himself as much as he was trying to reassure Sylvain. "To either of us. But if it does… Sylvain..."

Felix dropped his hands to his sides and avoided Sylvain's eyes… were his cheeks just a little bit flushed? Sylvain figured it must have either been a trick of the light or something concocted by his hopeful, exhausted mind because Felix looked like his usual self a moment later, if a little upset. Guilt twisted low in Sylvain's gut.

"Hey, didn't you just say that it won't happen?" Sylvain questioned, voice soft. He reached out and placed one hand on Felix's shoulder briefly, and he almost grinned when Felix twitched involuntarily at the touch. "Come on, you've beaten enough of these target dummies to death for now, right? Let's go to the dining hall. I'm sure Ashe and Mercie have managed to throw something together by now. Bonus points to them if it's actually edible."

With an expression that threatened to turn into a small smile, Felix wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his arm and walked over to join Sylvain.

"I suppose I'll come with you, then."

"Sounds like a date!" Sylvain grinned broadly. He ignored Felix's temperamental huff and the way he began walking towards the exit of the training grounds without him, because despite the low moments of their conversation he considered his mission accomplished. 

Perhaps he was setting his bar for success too low, but at least he'd be able to make sure that Felix rested and ate that day.

* * *

Sylvain continued to look for Felix and drag him away to eat and rest for the next few days; whether he found him training at the start or end of the day, or whether he invited him to dinner after they finished doing terrible patch jobs on the smaller areas of damage around the monastery, he managed to convince the other man to join him for a least a small period of respite. Perhaps Felix was getting annoyed with him, but if he was he was doing a surprisingly good job of hiding it. Felix wasn't exactly the type of person to hide his displeasure for the sake of someone's feelings anyway. 

Felix did seem to have more energy, Sylvain noted, but he wasn't sure if it was a good thing; he drummed his fingers on the dining hall table and bounced his leg beneath it as they ate together. He acted as if he still had excess stamina to spare, and no way to rid himself of it. To try and help his friend Sylvain casually offered to join him for training as they were eating their usual meal together. He felt just slightly miffed when Felix didn't immediately accept.

"You're actually volunteering to train with me?"

"Don't sound so excited," Sylvain mumbled, taking a bite from a slightly stale chunk of bread and chewing it with his back teeth until he figured that it was soft enough to swallow. "I can't just get by on my academy training and natural talent forever, right?"

"It never seemed to bother you when you slacked off during class… but I suppose things aren't the same as they were then," Felix replied, poking the remains of his breakfast around on his plate.

There it was again, Sylvain noted. That nervous energy he'd never had before. Sylvain had neve seen Felix act so fidgety and restless as he was now.

"Well, we meet up every day anyway. Might as well make myself useful."

Felix let his fork drop onto his plate and gathered the rest of the utensils he'd used, ready to take them back to the kitchen. "I suppose there's a first time for everything."

"You're being so mean to me lately, you know," Sylvain said, pouting as Felix walked away from their table. "But I'm guessing you're okay with me joining you for training?"

Felix glanced over his shoulder and nodded. "Don't be late."

Starting that afternoon, Sylvain began to meet Felix for sparring every day, struggling to keep up with his friend under the weight of his own exhaustion. Felix took no pity on him whatsoever and barely left him time to breathe in between his rapid attacks. Sometimes Sylvain had to remind him to slow down, but it was never long before Felix was back to slashing and stabbing relentlessly and Sylvain was back to deflecting blows with no hope of counterattacking. 

It was a few days into their training before Felix managed to land a proper hit, and even then it was accidental; he managed to pull off a counter to one of Sylvain's thrusts that would have been considered risky in an actual combat environment. The blow, slightly misaimed, left his training sword splintered against Sylvain's armored pauldron, and a chunk of wood flew free from the weapon and ricocheted into the side of Sylvain's neck, just below his ear.

The pain was enough to make Sylvain yelp, wince and cover the spot with his hand, which in turn was enough to stop Felix from raining blows down upon him and pull back.

"Sylvain, I didn't mean to…"

"I know you didn't," Sylvain grimaced, hissing a little as he brushed against the spot with his fingers. It was going to leave a bruise for sure, maybe a lump, but it was hardly the worst injury he'd ever had inflicted on him in battle. Hells, it wasn't even the worst he'd gotten from training; that honour went to Ingrid back when they were studying at the academy. She'd broken his ankle after he'd tried to dodge a sweeping attack from her lance while off-balance. 

"I'm sorry," Felix murmured, the tips of his ears burning red with shame or embarrassment, Sylvain wasn't sure. What he _was_ sure of was that Felix prided himself in his finesse and self-control, and both seemed to be slipping under the pressure. Not that Sylvain was much better at the moment. He knew he was making amateur mistakes and that his movements were sloppy. If they were on a proper mission against real enemies, he'd probably be a liability.

Sylvain resisted the urge to keep prodding at the welt forming on his neck; the dull pain was doing a decent job of keeping him alert. "Don't worry about it. I really should have been able to dodge that one. Guess I'm not much of a training partner when I'm like this, huh?"

"Then take better care of yourself and stop trying to push past your limit," Felix said, kneeling down to pick up the pieces of the broken training sword.

"I'm fine. Really," Sylvain said reflexively, joining Felix in cleaning up after their skirmish. Felix frowned at him for a brief moment, but turned his attention back to the task at hand. Once they finished up, Felix got to his feet and looked Sylvain square in the eye.

"I can train by myself for the next few days. Don't worry about joining me."

Sylvain nodded wordlessly, watching Felix leave him behind with the dawning feeling that he'd done something wrong.

* * *

A few more days passed, and Sylvain intentionally kept his distance from Felix for most of the time. He tried to bother him as little as possible when they were tasked with working together, and he was completely unsurprised when Felix did nothing to try and fill the silence. He didn't invite Felix to meals, and Felix went to training sessions on his own. The loss of Felix's company -- however prickly and stand-offish that company may have been at times -- seemed to sap the last of his strength and he went about his business like the walking dead, shuffling from one chore to the next before going back to his room for a night of sleep interrupted by dreams of treading water, narrow stone walls closing in around him and echoing laughter from above.

Felix didn't seem to be doing much better, despite being the one who canceled their joint training; the dark rings around his eyes grew deeper but he seemed to have no lack of energy. In fact, Sylvain noticed that Felix seemed to be spending even more time alone at the training grounds than he had with him. Sylvain resisted the urge to say something again and instead waited for Felix to cool off and make the first move. There was no point in trying to talk to Felix before he was ready, and Felix wasn't above patching things over himself. Sylvain was used to his friend's somewhat awkward apologies, and so he'd wait for it to come when Felix was prepared to give it.

Or, that was what Sylvain thought he would do. 

Deciding to start on the clearing of some of the rubble around the Cathedral had been a poor choice. Sylvain had suggested it because it was undoubtedly going to be the biggest job on their list, and Felix hadn't objected to the idea, just nodded stiffly and walked a few paces behind him to the northern end of Garreg Mach. 

It was also a poor choice because, with his mind occupied with other things, Sylvain had totally forgotten that Dimitri spent most of him time in the cathedral, staring into nothingness.

Felix tensed the moment he saw the prince, face darkening, but he said nothing and went back to moving chunks of broken stone out of the building. Sylvain wanted to slap himself across the face for being so absent-minded, so stupid as to put the two of them in the same place, and the tension in the air was almost as suffocating as the unseasonably humid weather. When they'd stopped for their midday meal (cured meat and bread, blessedly fresh for once; Sylvain would have to thank Ashe and Mercedes later) he'd suggested in the most casual voice he could manage that they could perhaps move somewhere else for the rest of the day, but that just made Felix scowl even more, and so Sylvain unceremoniously dropped the subject and went back to eating.

The long, strangely hot day for that time of year had Sylvain's head practically spinning from exhaustion by sundown. He was out on the balcony that ran along the left side of the cathedral, trying to make the most of the hint of afternoon breeze to cool down when he heard the first sound of raised voices from within the building. He ignored them at first; a huge building meant to hold several people at a time echoed loudly when it was empty, and so he figured it may have just been someone calling them for dinner.

When the voices got louder, clearer and more angry, however, it was easy to tell that one of them came from Felix. Of course, the strained silence that had hung between the three of them the whole day was finally broken, and Sylvain briefly massaged his temples with the tips of his fingers before he headed back into the cathedral.

Felix was fired up, hackles raised like an angry animal as he glared at Dimitri's impassive face. Dimitri looked down on Felix as if he were nothing more than a minor annoyance.

"... Glenn died to save your worthless life. He was brought back to Fraldarius territory in pieces," Felix spat, rage and grief darkening his expression, "and you waste the sacrifice he made, the sacrifice _every one_ of those soldiers made by living out your miserable existence like this."

"Don't speak to me as if you know what haunts me," Dimitri snapped. "Until I've cleaved that woman's head from her neck, my life has no purpose other than revenge."

Felix's fists clenched by his sides. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps your life has no meaning at all now. You're a worthless lost cause, you beast. Just looking at you makes me sick."

"Get out of my sight," Dimitri replied. His posture was more tense now, a violent flash of danger evident in his eye. "You're either with me or against me. If you get in my way, you die."

Felix growled and pulled his arm back beside his head, his fist still clenched. Sylvain was already moving before it happened, was surprised he could still move as fast as he did to come between the two other men, and the next thing he knew he felt the stinging blow of Felix's punch across his cheek as he threw himself between them. The hit was sharp, enough to make him stumble but not enough to knock him down. Dimitri hadn't moved as all this was happening -- he hadn't even flinched, as far as Sylvain could tell -- and he turned on his heel and stormed out of the cathedral before Felix and Sylvain had even fully comprehended what had happened.

"Sylvain," Felix whispered, his stunned expression slowly morphing into something angrier as he processed the situation, "you idiot. You _idiot_."

Felix almost looked like he wanted to hit him again, Sylvain noticed, but instead he felt Felix's thumb and forefinger digging into his cheeks as he held his face steady to examine the damage. Sylvain ran his tongue over his bottom lip and tasted no blood, ran it over his teeth and found nothing missing or chipped, and he couldn't feel the sting of any cuts inside his mouth either. He could only assume that him taking the blow for Dimitri had thrown Felix's aim off because he hadn't looked like he was holding back.

"You've been roughing me up a lot lately," Sylvain laughed weakly, head swimming from exhaustion, the punch and now Felix's close proximity. "If you keep giving me bruises like this, I'm going to start asking you to kiss them better, you know."

Felix's demeanor changed so fast that Sylvain almost got whiplash; the concern on his face changed to frustration… no, something more painful than that, he thought. Felix was _hurt_. 

Cursing to himself, Sylvain tried to apologize but Felix was already storming away, doing a monumentally bad job of not looking upset. Sylvain was hot on his tail, awkward apologies spilling from his tongue that Felix totally ignored. If anyone came across them while they were in this situation it would look totally ridiculous, Sylvain thought as he trailed behind Felix like a kicked puppy. He saw no one else, though, and the monastery was deserted save for the lights coming from the dining hall, which Felix pointedly avoided. 

It was only when they were approaching the landing of the second floor of the dorms that Sylvain said something that drew even more of Felix's ire.

"I don't know what you were trying to do with Dimitri."

"Something. Anything."

Felix stopped two steps ahead of Sylvain, looking down on him with contempt. They were almost the same height now, with Felix having the advantage. Sylvain wasn't used to being literally looked down on by Felix; it made him feel oddly out of his depth.

"Look, you aren't going to get through to him by yelling at him like that," Sylvain said as evenly as he could, but Felix's eyes only narrowed.

"Everyone else has been coddling him and treating him like he's made of glass. Perhaps he just needs to hear it without the sugar-coating. He's been a recipe for disaster since the rebellion. We've all seen and done things we will never forget but we forge on, trying to save the Kingdom that he is supposed to somehow rule if we survive. He doesn't give a damn about Faerghus anymore, or any of us. He's motivated purely by revenge and nothing else."

"I know. I know that," Sylvain replied, voice hollow. "It's the exact reason I don't waste my time with him. Going anywhere near Dimitri means you're doing one of two things: you're either looking for a fight, or you're looking for a conversation that goes in a never-ending circle. We have to accept that he might be beyond help, Fe. We have to focus on what we can do now until we get more help, no matter how tedious it is."

To Sylvain's surprise, Felix averted his eyes and began walking away again.

"Don't call me that."

"Huh?"

"The nickname you used to call me when we were children," Felix muttered.

"Okay…?" Sylvain replied, perplexed at Felix's reaction. "It sort of just came out."

"Because you never think about what you're saying."

"Come on, that isn't fair," said Sylvain with a tired sigh. "Look, if what I said before at the cathedral upset you, I'm sorry. It was a joke."

"A joke? How typical."

"Felix…?"

They were almost to the end of the second floor corridor before Felix paused; Sylvain sighed, because he honestly thought that the other man was just going to go into his room and slam the door shut behind himself to end the conversation.

"You never take anything seriously, not even your own advice. You're exhausted but still insist on training with me, even when I can't seem to get tired, but you just brush it off," Felix said, voice wavering. "And when I try to let you rest, you think I'm pushing you away."

"I'm sorry," Sylvain said, but even to him it sounded hollow.

"You asked me a while back if you weren't allowed to be worried about me. What about the other way around?" Felix questioned, eyes bright and dangerous. "Am I not allowed to worry about you?"

"Of course you are! I never said you couldn't."

"Your actions speak louder than your words do, Sylvain," Felix snapped. "You go around making my business yours when you're barely coping yourself. You let yourself be my training dummy when you struggle to keep your eyes open at evening meals. You take hits for the boar, who barely registers as a human being anymore, when you're still of value to our cause. And then you tease me with your words and names only to tell me that the whole thing was a _joke_."

Sylvain stared at Felix, eyes wide as he began to comprehend the weight of his words.

Oh. _Oh_.

"Felix, I…"

Before he could continue, Felix slammed his hands on either side of Sylvain's head, gloves making unpleasant gritty noises against the aging brick right next to Sylvain's ears. The sound made him shudder.

"I _hate_ it. Don’t do these things to me if you don’t mean them," Felix forced out from between gritted teeth, avoiding Sylvain's eyes, pupils blown wide and cheeks pinkened by frustration. Sylvain didn't reply, tried to focus on keeping his breathing even and staying calm. The tension bled from Felix's trembling arms and his own stiff shoulders, mingling between their bodies and becoming something that made Sylvain's blood run hot but also drained him of his strength at the same time. 

Sylvain felt the change in the cadence of Felix's breath against his lips, but just as he was considering closing the space between them he felt Felix's breath shudder as he exhaled, and the shorter man was leaning in and kissing him before Sylvain even had the mind to meet him halfway. He tried to make up for this slip by wrapping his arms around Felix's waist and pulling him closer, because _goddess damn it_, in every fantasy he'd had about his first kiss with Felix it had been perfect, everything had been right. 

But the situation they found themselves in was far from perfect, and nothing felt right except for the wet, inexperienced slide of Felix's lips, tongue and teeth against his mouth.

When Felix broke away his face was even more flushed than before, his gaze somehow harder. Sylvain had to resist the urge to let out the weird, near-hysterical laugh that bubbled up in his chest as the other man wiped his mouth dry with the back of his sleeve.

"Say something," Felix breathed, worry seeping into his voice even as his expression stayed hardened. 

Sylvain's hands smoothed over the sides of Felix's body, thumbs snagging on the juts of his hip bones. "What do you want me to say?"

"_Anything_. But I don't want it to be left like this."

_It_ was something they'd refused to define ever since Sylvain could remember, from the moment Felix's small hand had slipped into his own when they were children, to when they'd ended up scuffling in the sand with limbs entangled at the training grounds during their academy days, to every time Sylvain had thought nothing of throwing offhand flirtatious comments in his friend's direction, to when they had kissed each other mere seconds ago. 

Goddess, he wanted to say so many things to Felix, too many, but his head was filled with pleasant white noise and no words, no matter how forced, would come from his throat. He could still feel the frustrated shivers coursing along the other man's limbs, and the heat of the other's body as it pressed against his own.

And so, the only thing Sylvain could think to say was, "bed". The soft intake of breath from Felix told Sylvain that he didn't disagree.

There would always be later, he reasoned with himself as he manoeuvred Felix back against the door of his room. Felix let him do it, letting out a hot little huff of air as Sylvain slid his knee between his thighs, the friction heavy and perfect. Sylvain fumbled for the door handle, found it wedged behind Felix's back, and once he'd opened it and they'd stumbled back over the threshold of the bedroom, he slid his hand down to cup the curve of Felix's ass. The other man didn't seem to mind this at all; Felix broke their kiss with a gasp and immediately latched onto the skin below Sylvain's ear instead, biting and kissing just a little rougher than Sylvain would usually like, but it somehow still felt better than anything he'd experienced previously.

Sylvain's stomach twisted a little when he realized that that seemed to be a continuous theme when it came to his reactions to Felix.

To distract himself just a little from the gravity of the situation -- and to stop himself from expressing that they were about to make either the best decision or the worst mistake of their lives -- Sylvain tried to pull back, give them both enough space to start undressing one another. Felix had other ideas, it seemed, and he refused to budge from his spot; in fact, he only seemed to make himself more comfortable as he kissed, licked and bit the side of Sylvain's neck, over the spot where he'd bruised him when they were training; the wound was healing, going from an ugly dark blue to a mottled yellow-red, and so the sensation it produced when Felix kissed over it was like a dull, hot ache just beneath the surface of his skin, matching the one that was rapidly growing in the pit of his stomach. Felix's legs came to rest on either side of one of Sylvain's knees, and it was easy for Sylvain to feel how hard he was already.

Goddess, Felix was going to be the death of him.

"Hey, hey," Sylvain breathed, gently pushing Felix back so he could look into his eyes, get his attention. Truth be told, Felix looked a lot more focused than Sylvain felt, though the heady fog of lust was evident in his expression too. He seemed a little annoyed to have been interrupted, but he also seemed to be in a good enough mood to humor Sylvain's requests for now. "Let me get you out of your clothes."

That task proved easier said than done with his hands shaking from exhaustion, and he fumbles with the buckles and buttons on Felix's gear until the other man's impatience gets the better of him.

"I'll do it," Felix said, fingers already twitching as Sylvain moved his clumsy hands out of the other man's way. As usual, Felix was quick and efficient, having them both down to their smalls in a timeframe that would have put Sylvain to shame, even back in his academy days.

"Who says romance is dead?" Sylvain hummed, laughing as Felix rid him of his underwear with his teeth and got smacked across the cheek by the damp head of his cock as it sprang free. "Almost took your eye out, sorry. I'm sure Dimitri would have appreciated having a twin."

"Don't look so proud of yourself," Felix said, though he was still eyeing Sylvain's erection with something like anticipation. "And if you mention the boar again, I'm leaving you alone with your pants down and your cock out."

"Not the first time I would've been in that situation because of you-- _ouch_," Sylvain hissed as Felix bit down sharply on his inner thigh, hard enough to leave little indentations from his teeth. It was completely and utterly worth it to see how red the tips of Felix's ears turned at his words.

Felix may have been inexperienced in kissing -- or at least a little out of practice and sloppy -- but Sylvain was pleasantly surprised to find that his expertise in other areas certainly wasn't lacking. He took Sylvain's erection in his hand, stroking over it slowly, almost thoughtfully while keeping his eyes locked on Sylvain's face to watch his reactions. Sylvain licked his lips wet, let out a groan as Felix mouthed at the base of his cock, leaving a stripe across Sylvain's skin with his tongue before placing a messy, sucking kiss on the same spot. His mouth moved down further, Sylvain following Felix's progress by the tickling of his breath against his sensitive skin until he paused and sucked one of Sylvain's balls into his mouth. 

"Saints, Felix," Sylvain murmured, putting his hand on the back of Felix's head as he rolled Sylvain's balls across his tongue. "You're amazing. Perfect."

Sylvain had gone into this blind, not entirely sure what his friend liked during sex despite years of teasing and flirting, and an equal amount of years of Felix rebuking him and insisting that he wasn't won over by sweet words or meaningless affections. That was perfectly fine for Sylvain; he wanted to take his time and learn what made Felix come undone, and he felt his body respond every time he felt Felix shudder or heard him moan in the back of his throat. Right now he was doing both, lifting his hips off of the bed to ease the friction on his straining cock.

"So good at this," Sylvain continued, letting the soft strands of Felix's hair fall through his fingers. "You look so pretty. I could watch you do this forever and be a happy man, you know."

Pulling away from Sylvain for a moment, Felix blushed and averted his eyes at his words, though one hand stayed loosely fisted around Sylvain's cock, stroking from the base up.

"I get it, Sylvain. No need to lay it on so thick."

"I can stop if you want me to," Sylvain replied softly, tracing the dash of pink dusted across Felix's cheekbone with his thumb, "but nothing I've said has been a lie."

Sylvain was expecting Felix to stop after that, but he dipped back down and swiped his tongue over the sensitive spot under the head of Sylvain's cock a few times, tongue flicking over the spot until he squirmed from the stimulation. Felix didn't stop, laving over the spot until Sylvain hissed, hips jerking up towards Felix's mouth. 

Felix opened one eye to look up at Sylvain and suckled softly on the spot under the head for a few more moments before pulling away, letting Sylvain's hand guide him upwards so he could lick and suck the precome off the tip. That alone felt fantastic, but then Felix took his cock fully into his mouth, sinking down slowly until he'd taken almost the whole length into his throat, hot and tight and so good around him. Once he'd adjusted to the feeling, Felix began bobbing his head up and down at a pace that Sylvain found absolutely, blessedly perfect, his hand working over what his mouth couldn’t reach. Sylvain's hand tightened reflexively in Felix's hair, pulling roughly at where it was tied back at the base of his neck. The shiver that coursed through the other man's frame made Sylvain laugh low in his throat.

"You like that, huh?"

Felix glanced up at him with ruddy cheeks and scoffed, and Sylvain laughed out loud; only Felix could have shown such disdain with a mouth full of his cock. To prove his point, he thrust his hips upward and fisted his hand in the back of Felix's hair, pulling it loose, and moaned in the back of his throat in time with Felix's own sound of arousal.

"That's a yes, right? I'll remember that, you know," Sylvain said softly, and when Felix gave a particularly long, wet slurp on his length and pulled pulled back, Sylvain broke the line of spit running from the head of his cock to Felix's lips with his thumb.

"Do you ever shut up?" Felix asked, voice rough from deepthroating Sylvain's cock, but he returned to his task nevertheless. Sylvain's responding laughter wavered towards the end when Felix's tongue ran wetly along the underside of his length as he sank back down.

"Come on Felix, you know me better than that," Sylvain said, tone fond and voice shaky as he ran his fingers through the other man's soft hair. He groaned and thrust up into the wet warmth of Felix's throat as the other man found a rhythm for his movements, occasionally breaking his pattern by sliding Sylvain's dick into the side of his mouth, the soft inside of his cheek a pleasant contrast to his teeth. It took a little longer than usual with Sylvain as exhausted as he was, but the sight of Felix going down on his cock and the wet, pleasant warmth of his mouth soon had the warmth and pressure building in the pit of his stomach.

"Hey," Sylvain said, voice even more wrecked than he thought it would sound, "you'd better stop unless you want me to come in your mouth. And I really, _really_ don't mind doing that, trust me, but..."

To Sylvain's surprise, Felix pulled away almost immediately after one last suck that ended in a wet _pop_ as his lips separated from the other man's cock. He briefly admired Felix's handiwork; his erection was slick with spit and precome along almost the entire length, twitching as it adjusted to being outside of the warm wet of Felix's throat, flushed from almost being taken to the edge.

Syvlain let out a shaky laugh, breathing ragged. "Damn, Fe. Never knew you were so good at this."

"You never asked," Felix said plainly, wiping the excess spit and pre from around his chin and mouth with the back of his arm.

Sylvain chuckled softly, wiping a spot that Felix had missed clean with the pad of his thumb. "As if you would have told me if I'd actually asked. Don't tease a desperate man. And, umm, speaking of teasing and desperate… why did you stop?"

Felix's teeth grazed over his bottom lip for a moment, probably unconsciously, and then he got up on his knees, pulling down his underwear slowly to expose his own straining erection to Sylvain. It's amazing, Sylvain thinks, that Felix can be so shameless and so shy at the same time. That he can strip himself naked without breaking eye contact but try to pretend he's too busy sucking him off to hear Sylvain flirting with him while his face and ears go red. It makes Sylvain's heart thud happily against his ribs.

Felix was climbing back on the bed now, balancing precariously on the scant amount of space left with Sylvain lying down. He swung one leg over Sylvain's hips -- both of them jumped when their cocks brushed together -- and hovered over his body on his hands and knees. 

"Comfortable?" Sylvain asked, combing a few stray strands of Felix's hair behind the other man's ear. 

"When did you get so broad?" Felix questioned rhetorically, thighs splayed wide over Sylvain's body. His skin was so pale, so much so that it seemed like it would turn pink under the slightest touch and mark easily under his mouth.

Sylvain rolled his hips up, humming thoughtfully when his cock brushed against Felix's thigh. "Well, if your legs are getting tired you could always just sit down..."

"_Sylvain_..."

"... but that wouldn't be fair, considering how generous you just were to me. So how about this?"

Sylvain leaned up and caught Felix's lips with his own, tasting the barest hint of himself on the other man's tongue as he deepened the kiss. 

"I know you just got comfortable, but could you spin around for me? I'll open you up nice and slow, and then we'll see where we go from there."

Felix took a long, shuddering breath and nodded, sliding off of Sylvain's body and onto his feet. Sylvain had to admire Felix's endurance even at a time like this, because he was standing steady when Sylvain was sure that his own legs would be like jelly. 

It took a few moments and a little bit of gentle guidance from Sylvain's, but soon Felix was positioned over his face, his thighs spread and his cock hanging heavy between his legs. His breathing was audible now, a steady rise and fall that Sylvain was used to hearing when they stood side-by-side on the field of battle. Felix's blood must have been singing in his veins.

"Just tell me if you want me to stop. Or if you want me to keep going. Goddess, you're beautiful," Sylvain whispered as he kissed the soft curve of Felix's ass, feeling as if his mind was swimming. 

"You talk so much," Felix murmured back, looking over his shoulder at Sylvain at an angle that hurt just to look at, "when your mouth could be occupied with better things."

"I just wanted to tell you all the things that have been going through my mind for the past five years," Sylvain said, and the tips of Felix's ears turned pink as he whispered something in reply. "Didn't catch that, sorry."

"Thank you."

Felix's voice was still barely audible, and Sylvain placed another fond kiss on the inside of his thigh before he leaned up and licked a wet stripe from Felix's balls to his hole.

Felix's moans were pretty when he had his mouth around Sylvain's cock, but they were even better unrestrained. He was surprisingly loud, Sylvain noted as he licked Felix open, putting gentle pressure on his muscles with the pad of his thumb. Not overly so, but enough to make Sylvain's cock twitch with interest every time he heard a sound escape his throat. His legs were tense, shaking as Sylvain's tongue pressed inside of him, but he was surprisingly easy to prepare; there was no nervous tightness, just the gradual and natural opening of Felix's body to Sylvain's as he worked on him.

"Sylvain," Felix gasped, rolling his ass back against the other man's mouth; Sylvain could feel the rhythmic clench of Felix's hole around his tongue, and he belatedly realised that the other man saying his name was supposed to be a warning. He pulled away immediately and reached up to put a firm but gentle tap on the swell of Felix's ass with the palm of his hand; he had intended for it to be a mere distraction, but Felix flinched in a way that was definitely not borne of pleasure and Sylvain immediately stopped.

"Shoot. Sorry, sorry," Sylvain soothed, kissing the pale pink mark that the smack had left on Felix's skin. "I won't do it again."

"It's fine. You just… surprised me. Just for a second," Felix said, before half-lidding his eyes. "I'll forgive you if you let me sit on you cock right now."

"So naughty, Fe," Sylvain replied with an exaggerated wink.

"That's rich coming from you," Felix said, sitting up stiffly and spinning around. His cock left a long, sticky stripe of precome along Sylvain's belly as he righted himself. "I can only assume you have something we can use for this."

"Yeah, of course," Sylvain chuckled, reaching blindly beneath the top corner of his bed, his arm at an odd angle. "It's here… somewhere… damn it."

Felix sighed and leaned on Sylvain's chest as he reached over the side of the bed. He dug around underneath for a few seconds, returning with a small vial of transparent liquid that was very clearly pilfered from Manuela's infirmary supplies. At the sight of the other man's questioning, mildly judgemental gaze, Sylvain simply shrugged one shoulder.

"Not everyone tears training dummies apart to relieve stress like you do."

"Perhaps you should, you insatiable, incorrigible…"

"You're the one in here with me," said Sylvain, placing a soft kiss on Felix's cheek.

The corners of Felix's lips twitched upward, just barely; if Sylvain hadn't been so familiar with the other man's expressions, he wouldn't have noticed it at all. 

"So I am," Felix said, and he pressed the vial into Sylvain's palm. 

To be perfectly truthful, there wasn't much left for Sylvain to do considering how open Felix already was, but if Felix felt he needed his fingers then he wasn't about to deny him. He slicked his fingers quickly, dropping a glob of the fluid onto the sheets in his haste, and used his free hand to pull Felix closer. Their noses bumped together, not quite hard enough to be painful, and Sylvain laughed softly and kissed Felix soundly on the mouth, moaning low when the other man deepened the embrace.

It was messy and Felix would probably complain about it later, but Sylvain found his way down the other man's body by following the bumps of his spine, relishing in the shudder that coursed through his body as his fingertips slipped across his hole. As Sylvain had thought, he could slip one finger inside of Felix with practically no resistance save for the brief initial reaction to the sensation. It melted away an instant later as Felix sighed long and quivery, humming in pleasure as Sylvain pressed a second finger inside of him alongside the first.

"So good," Sylvain said, grinning up at Felix when he felt his begin to rock his hips back against his hand. "Taking two so easy. Think you can take another?"

"Easily," came Felix's simple reply. "Do it. The faster you do this, the faster I can feel you properly."

"Now who's insatiable?"

"I'm above you, on my hands and knees with two-- _three_ of your fingers in me," Felix corrected himself mid-sentence as Sylvain added another digit and twisted his hand as much as he could. "I think I'm being more patient than you would be if you were in my place."

"Maybe next time you can test that theory, Fe," Sylvain purred, smiling easily the way the other man moaned as he pressed his fingers deep, his cock dripping with precome. Felix let his eyes flutter shut briefly, hips rolling back against Sylvain's hand as lewd wet sounds filled the room as he was spread open. He soon stopped and squirmed away, standing up on his knees over Sylvain's prone body and reaching down between his own legs to hold the other man's cock steady, rubbing the head slowly over his loosened hole.

"No need to rush, take your time-- _shit_, Felix," Sylvain cursed sharply as the other man bore down and took the entire length of his cock in one steady slide, his ass coming to rest softly on Sylvain's thighs. Felix stilled with a low, quavering whine before beginning to move mere moments later, all semblance of control slipping as he ground his hips down in little circles on every downward shift. Sylvain's sense was gone, and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize that his hands were stationary on Felix's hips; Felix huffed and grabbed onto Sylvain's wrists, guiding them over his body as his movements slowed.

"Touch me," he said, an order more than a request, and Sylvain hurried to comply. His hands moved feverishly over Felix's exposed body, unable to decide on a single place to focus on. He tugged softly on the ends of Felix's hair before pulling more sharply when he ran his nails down Sylvain's bare chest when he thrust up to meet him. He brushed the pads of his thumbs over Felix's nipples, pale pink against pale flesh and perked at the attention he was giving them, and the way Felix cried out when he tweaked at one made Sylvain regret that he hadn't paid them attention sooner. He rubbed his hands over Felix's sides, his thighs, scratched gently down the length of his back and slipped his fingers between Felix's cheeks to tease where their bodies were joined, felt his cock slide in and out of Felix's loose hole. 

"Sylvain," said Felix, breathless, moaning wantonly as the other man pressed the tip of one finger into him alongside his cock, "you're a fucking tease."

Sylvain laughed as Felix forcibly moved the hand that had been playing with his entrance to his erection instead. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Goddess, Felix's dick was so wet with precome that Sylvain's hand slid over his skin with ease. He wanted to taste him badly but he didn't want to stop jerking him off; Felix seemed like he was on the edge, if the twitching of his cock and the clenching of his hole were any sign, and he wasn't so cruel as to stop him from coming. 

"Don't hold back for me. You're close, aren't you?" Sylvain said, voice husky. He twisted his palm over the head of Felix's length as he stroked him and rolled his hips upward to push deeper inside as Felix slid down. 

Felix gave Sylvain a single-eyed glare that quickly withered to a desperate expression that Sylvain wanted to keep locked away in his mind forever, just for him. He moved desperately, raising his hips as far as his shaking legs would allow before dropping his entire weight back into Sylvain's lap, thrusting awkwardly into the grasp of Sylvain's hand on his cock until he let out a moan so loud and wanton that he could only be on the brink of climax.

"Close," Felix whispered, barely audible as if trying to balance out how loud he'd just been before. It made Sylvain smile despite the pressure building in his own body, the heat twisting in his gut and the tightness in his balls.

"Me too," slurred Sylvain in response. "Come on, Fe. I wanna see you let go."

Felix reacted as if on command, gasping sharply and balling his fists tight on Sylvain's chest as he came. His release spilled over Sylvain's stomach and chest, sticky and warm, and his muscles clenched down tight around Sylvain's cock inside of him. Sylvain grasped Felix's hips tight and thrust up roughly one, two, three more times before pulling Felix down onto him and holding him still as he came inside of him, letting the residual clenches of Felix's muscles milk the rest of his climax out of him.

Sylvain felt boneless, exhausted, like he could pass out and sleep peacefully for hours with Felix in his arms. Felix himself hadn't moved yet, was still sitting in Sylvain's lap with come dripping from the tip of his cock and Sylvain inside him to the base. 

"Fe," Sylvain gasped, feeling the sticky wetness of his release begin to drip out of Felix and down his own softening cock. "Saints, Fe…"

He tried to pull out but found it nearly impossible to move, pinned beneath Felix's weight as he was. He didn't expect Felix to whine and press himself back down to keep Sylvain inside of him.

"Not yet," Felix said, voice hoarse as he fell forward onto Sylvain's chest and began to push back against him again, whining softly at the sensation.

The space between them was a wet, sticky mess of sweat and come and Felix rolled his cock against it, grinding rhythmically against Sylvain's abs until he was fully hard and straining again. Sylvain felt as if his mind was a blank slate save for curses and a repetitive mantra of Felix's name. He ignored the strange, oversensitive feeling of his spent cock rubbing against Felix's walls for the sake of the other man. _Goddess_, if Felix could do what he thought he was trying to do, he must be the luckiest man in all of Fódlan.

Felix sped up, his hands gripping the sheets next to Sylvain's head. Sylvain resisted the urge to whisper encouragement against the shell of his ear, words that were both pretty and dirty in equal parts. Sylvain knew now that Felix would like that in any other situation, but he didn't want to distract him or draw his attention away from what he was trying to do. Now wasn't the time for teasing; Felix was a mass of hypersensitive, frustrated energy on the cusp of his second orgasm, strung tight like a cord ready to fray and snap under the pressure, and Sylvain was unsure if he'd even be conscious were it not for the drag of Felix's wet cock against his stomach and the rhythmless way Felix pushed back against his flagging erection. The other man was making choked, frustrated sounds when he couldn't rock back far enough to take Sylvain to the base and feel the smack of Sylvain's balls hitting his ass and to compensate, he forced himself up onto his forearms and reached between their bodies with one hand, fisting his own cock feverishly, sweaty hair falling loose over his face.

There was no buildup or loud moaning like the first time Felix had come, and it made Sylvain wonder if it had crept up on Felix as much as it had on him. Felix flicked his thumb over the head of his cock, whimpered in the back of his throat and bounced his hips back against Sylvain's dick; suddenly, his eyes shot open and he let out a strangled sob as he climaxed again, his release dripping between their bodies and mixing into the existing mess as the muscles inside him squeezed weakly down onto Sylvain.

"Fe," Sylvain breathed, cupping the other man's face with his hands and bringing him down to press feverish kisses all over, bumping their foreheads together when he ran out of breath. "_Felix_."

Felix looked at him with clouded eyes and leaned down to kiss Sylvain softly on the lips, both of them letting it deepen naturally but keeping it slow as they came down from their high.

A loud, almost ominous ringing sound echoed through the grounds of Garreg Mach. Felix and Sylvain both jumped in surprise, almost smacking their heads against one another at the sound of the cathedral bells sounding; Byleth had ordered for it to be done thrice daily after meals to signal that the monastery had been retaken, to signal to the faithful that it was becoming safe to return.

"Guess we missed dinner," Sylvain said, voice slurred and body shivering as Felix finally lifted his hips and let his cock slip out of him. "I probably have some dried fruit in one of my packs if you're hungry…"

Felix arched one slim brow at him, and Sylvain shook his head rapidly to try and bring himself some clarity.

"Right, right. Sweet stuff. Be kind, you just blew my mind and I was almost comatose before that."

Averting his eyes and blushing, Felix stumbled off the bed with Sylvain's come dripping down the insides of his thighs.

"I need something to clean up."

"Anything not in the top two drawers. Everything else should be old stuff that won't fit," Sylvain replied with a dismissive, lazy flick of his wrist. He resisted the urge to choke on his own spit when he saw Felix take out one of the old academy dress shirts he'd abandoned after the attack five years ago and clean himself off with it. He walked over to the bed and wiped Sylvain down after that, surprisingly gentle.

"So kind, Fe," Sylvain murmured, raising his arms to invite Felix back into his arms once he was done. "C'mere."

Felix didn't hesitate, crawling back into bed, squeezing back into the small space next to Sylvain.

"Was this a good idea?"

Dread shot through Sylvain's gut. He pulled Felix into his arms and pressed a kiss to the crown of his head.

"I'm too tired for a long heart-to-heart right now, so if that's what you want…"

"No… no," Felix shook his head, sounding more certain the second time he spoke. "Before you ask, I was certain that I wanted this. That's not the problem. The only thing making me doubt myself is the timing."

"Not to bring the mood down, but we may not have another chance," Sylvain said, stroking Felix's hair mindlessly. "And I'd rather spend as long as I can with you, if you'll let me."

"... I feel the same," Felix replied, and Sylvain could feel the heat radiating off his face even if he couldn't see it. "Whether it's five minutes or the next fifty years."

"Fe..." Sylvain said fondly, before pressing another clumsy kiss to the top of his head and grinning. "I accept your proposal of courtship, future Duke Fraldarius."

"Sylvain..." Felix muttered, though there was no heat to his tone. Eventually, he just sighed fondly and shook his head. "Get some rest."

"Yessir," Sylvain replied, and Felix allowed him one more kiss before he settled down against his chest to sleep. The other man was out almost immediately, but Sylvain forced himself to stay awake a little longer. Felix was just as beautiful asleep as he thought he would be, even if he did still drool in his sleep like he had as a kid. It was something that Sylvain figured that only he would find absolutely charming about Felix.

Sylvain fell into a blessedly deep sleep with that image of the other man still in his mind, and for the first time in a long while, he did not dream of death nor the cold water and claustrophobic walls of the well.

**Author's Note:**

> They got really, really soft on me during the sex. It wasn't my fault, I swear.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this fic! Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated.


End file.
